Have you ever fallen for a taken man? Well I did, and it was not something I would recommend.
I got to know this amazing guy from a radio station I loved; he was one of the presenters I did not like! Somehow we became friends on social media but for months we never interacted till a little over a month ago. We started chatting and that was the beginning of one of my greatest mistakes.
I knew he had a girlfriend, it was hard not to notice with all the pictures they posted of the 2 of them and that is why I was never bothered. However, in a matter of days we had gotten to exchange phone numbers and we would talk every single day.
Things got better as time passed, I couldn’t resist his charm, his confidence, his ego, his sonorous voice; the man was the real definition of suave! After weeks of talking on phone we met for coffee at midnight and it went on till almost 5a.m (don’t give me that look, a girl’s allowed to do something crazy once in a while) We stayed there simply talking and opening up. I was impressed by his level of honesty and how he was able to get me out of my comfort zone.
After that I could barely get him off my mind. I kept replaying bits of the night in my head; thinking about his smile, his touch (get your mind off the gutter, he only touched my hand and held me as I leaned against him at one point) I thought about how he admitted he was attracted to me and how he’d had problems with his girlfriend for a while.
Well, I let my fantasies carry me away too far. He got to me more than I should have let him. I had hope that eventually something good would develop but I didn’t want it to happen while he hadn’t broken up with her. I guess I should be happy now that my path has been set for me; I saw her post how he made her happy. That’s when I realised the folly of my hopes: he wasn’t leaving her.
Here I am now, not sure whether to cry or beat myself up again. I can hear my head shouting ecstatically “I told you so! He was no good and you should have known better than to start liking a taken guy” but my heart is in pain and amidst all its tears, the shouts of my head are drowned a little. I am hurt, just like I expected. I feel foolish and naive but you cannot blame me.
I will probably dislike (hate is a strong word but still a close description) him for leading me on, for letting me start falling for him, for talking to me when I was trying hard to keep away from me and most of all for not being mine like I hoped.
I may miss him for a while; it would be hard not to miss his sonorous voice with that lovely American accent, his well-built body, his dark skin, his coy smile, his charm, his ego and his ability not just to bring out the girl in me but to also make me want to put aside the stubborn, strong-minded, very guarded and distant woman in me.
I should have known better than to fall for a taken guy, but I did and now I’m paying the price.