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Midnight Musings of a Messed up Maiden

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“The state of my closet usually reflects the state of my life”… This is a statement I tell my friends and one that is more often than not, very true. I have been ignoring the huge pile of clothes I dumped in my closet since they were washed simply because every time I open that door I am either in too great a hurry to pause and start folding or hanging, or I am in no mood to start all that work or I open and feel too overwhelmed because they are so many that it discourages me and I quickly close the door.

My life feels exactly the same and I hadn’t thought much about it till I went for Bible study tonight. Before you start applauding at what a nice christian girl I am, I should mention that it has been quite a while since I went for that weekly bible study and that today I showed up one and a half hours late! Either way, I am really glad I went mainly because that session got me thinking about a lot and I have been doing some serious reflections since then. My life is truly a mess but I need to get cleaning or simply get myself to the One who does an amazing job at that.

We were reading James 4 and what stood out was the statement: Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded… It reminded me of how simple life is when you choose to submit to God, resist the devil, draw near to God and repent.

Submitting to God should be out of love, not fear; He is not some scary being up there in the clouds who demands that you follow Him and if you fail to, He strikes you with some rod or lightning! He is a loving Father who designed your life thousands of years before you were even conceived. He knows your entire life and how it will unfold plus He has power over it; therefore, it should be easier to submit to such a being since He not only knows what will go on in your life but He holds that precious life of yours in His hands, He loves you unconditionally  and has a good plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11)

Resisting the devil isn’t always easy since he entices us with the things we find hard to resist but knowing that he came to steal, kill and destroy us, we shouldn’t easily give in to his temptations. Most people hear such a statement and immediately think of temptation as the sexual kind but it’s not just about that. When was the last time you checked your thoughts then when you were busy focusing on something you knew wasn’t right, for example; how to get back at somebody for a sick joke they played on you or vengeance for how bad they hurt you or choosing to drive past a red light or breaking a law just because you think it doesn’t make sense or obeying it would be a waste of your time? How many times have you stopped that thought before it went any further and caused you to act? You learn to resist the devil when you practice saying No to anything you know isn’t right or ask for the grace to do so.

The last part is about drawing near to God and repenting; those two actually go hand in hand. If you failed to resist and ended up doing something wrong, most of us feel very guilty as we entertain condemnation then decide we are too messed up for God. You think of how many times you kept falling for the same thing and you get convinced that since you keep falling, why bother to rise? We forget that, after a long day when you get back all sweaty and dirty, you never think that since you are too filthy and will still get dirty, there’s no need to bother or think how water is too clean and you can’t face it ’cause you’re too dirty. So why do we do that with God? If you’re messed up then get back to the one who made you and can mend you; if you’re dirty, run to the arms of the one whose blood makes us clean.

My life might be a mess now but cleaning time just began! It may take a long while and it may not be easy; either way I am certain that I have been given enough grace to pull through so I choose to delight in this whole cleaning session 🙂

(Oh and I know midnight musings happen at midnight but I still can’t help writing at 2-3a.m. Therefore, since I started reflecting at around midnight; it’s the thoughts that count 😉 [pun intended]…)

Phenomenal Man

Woman to Woman

From Delina Cummings’ Poetry Diary

  

 

 

 

Show me a phenomenal man! Who is he?

How is his face, his manner, his thoughts?

From whence cometh he, and wherest doeth he go?

Is he as imagined? Is he real?

Like the phenomenal woman,

There exists the phenomenal man,

Face so fair to look upon,

The dream of every conscience woman,

That phenomenal man.

His manner bedazzles her,

No other man can be like him, even if he tries,

Thoughts in him are honorable, his intentions pure,

He is girded with compassion, refined with loyalty,

That phenomenal man.

Faithfulness, dependability, trustworthiness,

Allegiance, chivalry, and grace,

Strength, intelligence and humility,

Are the cornerstones of his being,

That phenomenal man.

From the blessed womb that carried him,

To the arms of the heart that captures him,

Passionate about the touch of that gentle flower,

He’s conscious of its tender petals,

That…

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Girl of Many Phases

ImageFunny how I always get the motivation to write at the weirdest hours of the night; it’s almost 2a.m and if I don’t write I’ll explode or something. You see, I have been bottling too much inside me and it’s time I told you what’s going on.

The past 2-4 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I feel like I was a different girl in each of those weeks. From the first one where I was a single happy girl who was enjoying life while learning what love was all about from the greatest love of all (God) and learning what standards I should have for any man I’d consider getting into a relationship with. I was sure about what I wanted till things crumbled as I explained in my previous post. Continue reading