I got thinking about that after reading posts based on Mandy Hale’s 30 day blogging challenge for single women. There are enough possible answers and honestly, I guess each has a small piece that fits in to my jigsaw puzzle which explains the answer. So why exactly I’m I still single…
Is it because my standards are too high?
For a long time people around me thought my standards or my expectations too high that no man would make the cut. At some point, even I, started thinking the same. My girlfriends would get excited when a guy started hitting on me or when I’d have a crush but I would kill their short lived happiness for me when I’d tell them how the guy wasn’t what I wanted.
So should a lady lower her standards just to get a man? Well that depends, if her standards have bits that are unreasonable then maybe she should revise them but if they are reasonable enough then by no means should she lower them. I had my list of how a man should be and as I matured I made changes but my standards are still very high and not about to change, because I have seen such men exist.
Is it because I am not beautiful or attractive enough?
Well beauty lies in the eye of the beholder but beauty is also defined by the Maker of the beholden. Knowing I am fearfully and wonderfully made is all I need to know.
For many years my value was greatly pegged on the fact that I thought I looked good enough, had a great body figure and brains to accompany it. I figured out no man would turn that down but years later and the development of skin blemishes plus extra weight, I realised how proud and vain I was. Yes I am fearfully and wonderfully made but I shouldn’t obsess with that.
Should a woman have a pretty face and a body most men look for in order for her to find a man? Or just because she is pretty does it mean she shouldn’t be single?
No, people need to stop obsessing with outward appearance and start looking for more. Beauty is good to aim for in a woman, but there’s more to her than her face and body.
Is it because I steer men away because of intimidation?
Funny how people would say how some men fear me yet I never understood why. Later I realised the more confident and focused a woman is, the less men hit on her. Many women are single simply because they were too beautiful or too intelligent or too confident for most men to handle. A woman with a strong personality needs a man who is confident and secure enough not to fear that the woman might be too much to handle or outshine him. He knows his value and seeks a woman to compliment that.
Is it because I haven’t found the perfect man?
Not exactly… I have met a few men who sort of fit my standards. Such men exist and a woman shouldn’t compromise simply because she hasn’t found such a man yet. He might appear tomorrow or next year or probably you know him well but his Maker isn’t done processing him for you or you’re probably not ready to be given over to him since you’re not prepared enough to be his helpmeet.
Then it’s not more about finding the right man but about being the right woman as well.
Is it because the man I thought would make a great husband is unavailable?
Lol probably yes… There were two who stood out. Unfortunately both were too busy healing from heartbreaks plus enough other women contended for them. So because I chose not to be part of what might just appear to be the Christian version of the Bachelor, I stepped back and decided that if they were meant to be with me then we’d wait and see, if not then I’d willingly release them to be with women who’ll make them amazing wives and I go back to waiting for my Mozambican or Spanish or Italian man (smiles)
God never gives just one man for you, He’ll give you options since we have free will and He considers our desires.
Is it because my faith doesn’t allow me to date?
On the contrary, God wants us happy and paired with wonderful godly spouses! But His word does caution us three times in Songs of Solomon not to awaken love until we can satisfy it. If you’re not ready to love someone with all you have and not ready to spend the next 50 or so years married to them, then don’t rush.
I am single because I’m still being prepared to make a great partner, helper, wife, lover, friend and ministry mate to the wonderful man awaiting me. Just like Eve was made and given over to Adam, so am I going to be presented when I’m done. I’m single because he probably isn’t ready as well, but at the time when we’re both set, I will gladly kiss single hood goodbye.