Dear homemade peanut butter consumer,
I know I’m probably not supposed to but I can’t help worrying once in a while. You might be all strong and independent but I saw right through all that and had decided I was going to stand by you and be; your greatest cheerleader, the one who looks out for you and prays for you most while you’re away, the one who helps bring out the beautiful sensitive side of you, the one who helps make you laugh and fills your life with joy till you forget all the unmentionable things you see or go through while away but most of all the one who would never leave because I could handle the life you lived perfectly.
Unfortunately all that never came to be and I wish you knew how that broke me; all the tears could not wipe away the guilt I felt for getting you into something that I helped break not because I wanted to but I had to. Faith issues are sensitive and I may not be able to make you comprehend it all.
That said, I have a greater reason for writing you this. Please allow me to sound a little ‘preachy’… Like I said, I worry at times and this is why:
Who takes care of you while away and while back here? Who becomes your rock or strengthens you when you’re stretched thin? Who becomes your motivation to pull through when things are truly thick?
Where do you find peace in the middle of a war? Where do you find peace for your mind while trying to adjust back home? Where do you find assurance that even when you get to stare death in the face, your lack of fear won’t be because of your training but because you know even if life ended it would usher you to the most amazing place ever?
How do you find help in exams or get crazy favour with your superiors that helps with your promotions? How will you find wise strategies to lead your team when your enemy pulls a fast one on you? How will you identify your missing rib? How will you get assurance that she’ll stay and you’ll both be happy in spite of everything?
I only know One answer to all that… He’s a Man of war, greater than any you’ll ever meet; He’s the peace in the middle of every war; He’s the One able to heal all your physical and emotional wounds; He’s the One who’ll never ever leave you; He’s the One who’ll reveal hidden things you’d never know but need to know and most of all, He’s the only way you have to a wonderful eternity.
Going to Church once in a while or knowing a few verses won’t help. Knowing about God and even fearing Him still won’t give you access to all the above; only Jesus can..
(I found the courage to write all that because I care and never want to live any longer knowing that I was too afraid to tell you truth you may not like, simply ‘cause I don’t want to look like I’m pushing my spirituality down your throat)
PS: all that homemade peanut butter talk is probably to blame for the looong letter written at 3am, Lol