In Too Deep?

I know I can talk my head off when it comes to emotional entanglement or intimacy. However, I have realised how describing the issue won’t help much when you can’t diagnose if you are in need of help.

So how do you know you’re in too deep with a person emotionally?

Let me start by clarifying that emotional intimacy is necessary for people in a serious and committed relationship but if you’re not dating them with an intent to marry, then emotional entanglement would get you in trouble and cause you pain when the other person leaves or you realise they’re not on the same emotional level with you.

First indicator would be the depth of your conversations. If you talk a lot about issues that are deep or about things that very few people or no one else knows, then that is a potential landmine. When someone knows such things as your biggest hopes and fears, your dreams and aspirations, your past troubles and future hopes, they are in too deep. You will be creating soul ties that will be hard to break or will cause you pain when they do break.

Secondly, does it feel impossible to stay a day or two without talking or seeing that person? When you miss them too frequently you know that they have become a very important part of you.

Thirdly, do you involve them in almost everything that matters to you? Having them as part of the things that matter in your life brings them much closer to you.

I will leave it at those 3 for now… Am I saying that it is wrong to do or experience these things? No… I’m only saying that when you start noticing them, it’s time to take stock of your emotions and decide how you want to proceed.

Those are elements that are very good for same sex friendships but when it comes to the opposite sex, they may open up emotions that were not planned for leading to feelings of desire and when the desire is not reciprocated, it leads to heartbreaks.

Remember, above all, guard your heart… (Proverbs 4:23)


One thought on “In Too Deep?

  1. Pingback: The Bad Good Guy – Diary of A Loved Black Woman

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