Crush?… or Maybe Not (Lies we believe)

There’s this guy I met (guy M) and for some reason I felt a connection; it almost felt like a crush but I brushed it away (more like rebuked it, Lol). I got to realise that he was sorta spiritually connected to us so I figured that the ‘crush’ that was trying to force itself was actually a different kind of connection.

Fast forward a while later and we’re now good friends. All was going great until he made a statement that sounded like the kind of insinuations I used to make when I was attempting to create an emotional connection with a guy. Butterflies kicked in and I think my heart fluttered; not in the ‘Yeaaay I like this’ kind of way but the ‘Oh no’ type.

Naturally, all sorts of thoughts started flooding my mind: what if he liked me? How would I handle things? Might I be feeling the same?
However, I felt strongly convicted not to indulge those thoughts. Not just because of some difference that I’m not sure I’d compromise on but due to the fact that the feelings actually weren’t real (PS: He actually looks quite good, is Spirit filled, with a heart after God’s own and would probably be a great guy to date, so of course I was tempted to think about it)

Okay, so you’re probably wondering why on earth I’d say they weren’t real yet I felt something. You see, this had happened to me before, more than once and I noticed that such instances were supposed to be a distraction that would eventually lead me into sexual sin. Plus it would occur whenever I was getting lazy spiritually. This time was no exception, my bible reading was wanting and my prayer life was fading to nonexistence.

Then another friend (guy J) happened to get dragged into this drama . I had this weird dream where guy J was trying to get cosy with me while saying how he was kinda jealous and not too happy about me and guy M since he didn’t want to share me. That was an absolutely absurd dream and I didn’t even bother to pray since I thought it was an extremely cheap tactic by the enemy to ensnare me, so I didn’t waste a second thinking of it. Nevertheless, it almost planted some strong desire in me and I kept fighting the urge to talk to them both that day.

The dream made me realise that the feelings that were trying to force themselves on me were false and a pathetic attempt to get me tripping spiritually. Any time accompanying thoughts would try to come, I’d cast them down immediately.

God had just taught me how not to entertain some thoughts. Remember how they say a thought leads to an action? Some times we indulge in thoughts that create feelings that didn’t exist and weren’t supposed to, then they get us in trouble. The devil will do anything to derail you and your mind is the best target because ultimately you become what you think.

So the next time you think you’re having a crush; first test to see where those emotions are from. If they’re not from God, then they’re from the spirit of Lust and one effective way to deal with that is to practice 2 Corinthians 10:5 and bring those thoughts captive.

“Throwing down imaginations and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”

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