I am that round peg in a world full of square holes. I rarely fit in; no scrap that, I never fit in!
It’s not an easy thing because I’m frequently nudged by the need to belong. All around are people who have their flocks or kindred spirits and they’re quite happy together. It’s a world where most people seem to have a community of sorts; there’s always something that binds them to one or two others.
Growing up, I still didn’t fully fit in but somehow I was too excited about life and unknowingly secure in who I was. Which means I barely noticed how different I was. I loved the world and believed the world loved me too. Though I never matched the status quo, somehow I got by.
Oh I remember the time I’d transferred to a new school and was still trying to figure how I’d been chosen as the class prefect in a new stream, less than a week after I joined. So one morning during the assembly, I was standing at the back of the crowd simply being me. I was busy picking tiny stones and throwing them at people mischievously. Then the headmaster announced that the new headgirl wasn’t 100% perfect, she was more like 76%. Imagine the shock when I and the rest of the school discovered that I’d been chosen. I always remember the 76% because that’s how I feel about myself; I’m never perfect.
Fast forward to high school and things blew up! I had enough people who hated me simply because of who I was. It wrecked me when I discovered that. I shrank and my esteem plummeted. From then on, I’ve been recovering.
This round peg misses the young girl who was completely oblivious to what the world thought about her. Now I’m on a path of accepting who I am and realising that I’ll always have people who don’t like me. Getting to the place where I am okay with never fitting in. It hasn’t been easy but I’m loving it.
As long as my best (or my 76%, Lol) has been given, then I’m not worried if other people can’t appreciate. In this circle, the only opinion that matters most is God’s. I have learnt how He’s my biggest cheerleader and fan in this life. Mainly because He actually created everything that I am and the obvious fact that I belong to Him. He’s invested heavily in me and therefore, is determined to ensure I become all that He made me to be.
So this loved round peg will keep living and eating life with a big spoon. Friends will be appreciated, advise will be listened to and wisdom accepted. However, no more wondering why I don’t fit in anywhere. I am unique and that’s great. My new motto remains:
Be bold; Be you!
Leaving you with some more lyrics:
Break out them blue skies,
I can feel my heart beating inside,
Yeah, it’s like a new day,
Woke up to hear You say,
I came to give you life,
So spread your wings and fly,
Now go and show no fear,
You are enough to change the atmosphere,
So go and do life big,
(Jamie Grace- Do life big)