A few days ago, during a conversation with this guy, I mentioned how I’d noticed that I’ve been talking to my ex a little more frequently, in the recent past. You should’ve seen how quick he was to tell me how much trouble that was. He insisted that the only thing I was doing was rekindling a fire and building false hopes. My argument didn’t hold water. I tried explaining how all I wanted to do was ensure there was no awkwardness between us and I mean, who said we had to be enemies with every ex? (Lol, a dying (wo)man sure will clutch at a straw)
Somehow a conversation on how we usually string people along, came up. This is something too many of us end up doing! Let’s explore a few scenarios and see if you relate:
There’s this person you’re friends with, nothing romantic but you simply happen to have such interesting conversations. Anytime you need to talk or just enjoy some entertainment, they are your go-to person. Your conversations can be deep and you like how they get most of the things you discuss. They flow with your jokes, they speak your kind of silly and basically, you rarely get bored while with them. However, there are times you ask yourself if probably you may be sending the wrong message. You keep brushing that off ’cause if that were true, then you’d have to cut down several things. There’s no way you’re giving up what you guys have; I mean, as far as you’re concerned, the other person should understand this is pure friendship, right?
Then there’s this friend you have who you discovered, might be feeling something. Again, like the above situationship, you can’t imagine sacrificing the amazing friendship you have. The perks of being ‘just friends’ can’t be surrendered. They’re good enough to be your friend but not good enough to date. Alternatively, you think dating them would be too weird, eww!
The other person is the one you already have pet names with and is the one you drag along to go try out new food joints or check out the newest events in town. You guys talk your hearts out most times. Well, you’re just friends, that’s what you tell anyone who asks.
Of course the last category involves the ex or someone who told you sometime back, that they like you. You keep tabs on each other, in the name of ‘not allowing things to be weird’ between you.
Now let’s flip it around: you have this person who makes you laugh, totally gets you, great conversations happen or long phone calls are involved. Somewhere along the way, you fall for them. You can’t tell them because you don’t want to lose them. You keep hoping that they feel the same or mutual feelings will come up. It eventually dawns on you that you’ll never be more than friends. You try retreating to mend your broken heart and heal your wounds but this person keeps calling.
When you’re on the receiving end, it hurts badly. So why do we do the same to others? It is not fair and it scars people. However, we knowingly or unknowingly keep doing this at different points in life. Take a closer look around you, who are you stringing along? When you do find that person, do them a favour and cut that line. It will hurt now, but the damage would be greater if you go on.
PS: now that we’re celebrating independence day today, don’t you think it’s the perfect moment to set some people free? (Wink)