Persuaded Pressured?

We met at a Bible trivia competition; he was one of the two who were best in their team, I was one of the two best in ours. We were both very social. It felt like a beautiful match.

We met again soon after as he joined campus. Conversations were priceless, we hit it off from the word go. Long walks and long conversations always get to me. He was good at both. He had a way with words; his texts were quite poetic. I was hooked.

He had a way of saying the right things and noticing the smallest of details. He once said he liked how when I smiled, a slight dimple would form on one of my cheeks (finally someone noticed the dimple!!). He’d been a former bad boy and after getting saved, he vowed never to take advantage of ladies. Instead of breaking their hearts and esteem, he’d help build them. That’s why he was sincere with his words and never withheld the compliments.

Soon enough, the chemistry was undeniable. However, there was one problem: he insisted that he didn’t deserve me. Goodness, what was wrong with this guy? I was the one getting someone way out of my league; there were countless ladies that would give anything to be his. So I decided to do my best to persuade him until he realised his value. I kept telling him that just because gold was covered in mud, didn’t mean it wasn’t precious.

I don’t know whether he gave in to the pressure or he was persuaded enough. A week before I was to leave for campus, we started dating. I was sure this is what I had been waiting for.

In my head, we’d be the lovely Christian couple, doing all the right things and showing people how it should be done. We’d date through campus and I thought marriage would probably follow maybe a year or two after that. I was willing to walk with him that whole time. It would also be perfect because nobody would disturb me when I joined campus; I’d be off the market.

Well, that probably lasted for a month. In less than a month, our relationship was strained. I’d be busy during the day so I wouldn’t do prompt replies anymore. By evening he’d probably be tired of my antics and so conversations became brief. At some point I thought because he once made a comment that he feared I’d meet an amazing lawyer guy in campus and ditch him, therein lay the problem. We tried talking things out when I came home a few weeks later and agreed to revive things. Needless to say, that relationship died a slow death.

Looking back, I realised how selfish and self centred I was. That guy really put up with enough of me. I feel like I’d pushed him into it, all in the name of encouraging a man to do that which he actually wanted to do. I should have listened to him and let things stay as they were or allowed him to move at his pace; but no, this Missy liked having her way. An innocent guy probably got hurt along the way. I wished I’d sit down and talk things over; get to hear his perspective and apologize to him. I thought about it this year and tried getting his number but I wasn’t able to get any contacts. Maybe I should let sleeping dogs lie; it might do more damage if I resurrect the past. Maybe I should have done that the day I had him come and emcee my graduation party. Maybe… but maybe I’ll never know.

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