I must admit, for more times than I’d care to admit, I’d stare at the Daily Prompts and promise myself that one day I’d grab that bull by the horns and write whatever random post that comes up for that day. Then I’d come up with a myriad of excuses. You see this isn’t about prompts that don’t match my general blog theme; I simply chickened out.
Fear’s nasty! It sucks every drop of life in your already frail life. I say frail because you can’t be shackled by fear and assume your life is something. You’re stuck with a slave driver that doesn’t allow you to get anything meaningful from life.
Lately, it became evident that I had turned to this constantly afraid, egg-shell walking, timid creature. I lost my voice (not literally) and could barely speak up for myself. I had this ability to come up with fears the average person would never believe. They ranged from constantly fearing I’d lose my job to fearing my house would collapse during heavy rains (Lol, I kid you not! I even came up with strategies on how to survive that).
Until recently while travelling from home after days of being so sick and battling depression; I noticed just how bad it was. God highlighted the way my life had practically stopped. I didn’t know who the timid girl I’d become was, I had no dreams, hopes or ambitions and had life completely drained. That’s when He challenged me with this little statement: take a risk. I began, albeit slowly.
Yesterday it took a Girls’ date with my amazing pink Prada bag-buying darling to wake me fully to living in the risk taking reality. A gray dress with pink stripes had her drag me out for shopping and from then on, I took one crazy step after another. Talking, laughing, bearing our souls out and good food was the perfect recipe to bring me back alive. I started remembering who I used to be and who I’m meant to be. Life sipped back… no, it gushed backed.
Last night as I got back to the house exhausted but bubbling with life, it took one last experience to crown it all. I decided to make my bed and picked a pink pair of sheets I liked. As I got into that mass of pink and curled myself comfortable surrounded by quantities of pink that would make most people choke (hey, don’t judge), I was suddenly filled with unexplainable joy. Yes pink makes me happy. It always reminds me that I am a daughter and such a girly girl at heart. The bubbly, unshakably confident, happy-go-lucky person arose.
I already feel the difference and I must say: I’m loving this, I’m loving the me.