Somebody told me that I need to allow people to love me. I laughed. I mean, I have a thousand issues but none of them involved rejecting love from people. As a matter of fact, I was certain that my problem was the opposite: I give love and expect it but few offer it back. I don’t mean the shallow stuff we usually throw around but the genuine kind. The type that isn’t repelled by your mess. The kind that can stay right through storms. The reliable one that’s a phone call away when you need help.
After some time, I thought I’d ask someone. Just in case I was blind to this. Her response was that I’m easy to love and I have no issues accepting the same. She thought whoever told me was simply projecting what he actually needed to learn.
Then one day it dawned on me in a completely new light! I made up my mind to give people room to love me; give them space to show it. I took a backseat and embarked on an interesting journey.
I stopped looking for people; I allowed them to figure if I was important enough to call or text. I started giving only what I received. Friendship became a tango, I danced as I was led. If communication was prioritized, then I’d reciprocate. I gave in the measures I was given.
This opened my eyes and helped me see things with such clarity. I now know what I mean to different people and what they mean to me.
You see naturally, I’m a giver and I invest excessively in my friendships. I cross oceans for people and pull heaven if need be for them. However, I’ve watched my overflowing affections scorned. Sacrifices made in terms of time, money or even simply talk time on phone; taken for granted or seen as a nuisance.
Everybody has their breaking point, there’s always a time when enough is enough. So I’m done bending over backwards for people who don’t see the value of sacrifices made.
Take it from me, it’s okay to go where you’re appreciated, in fact I highly recommend that. It’s okay to know how much to give to who. It’s okay to stop scattering your pearls before pigs. It’s okay to understand that sometimes you’re some fat juicy steak and that no matter how great you are, the vegans around you will never see your worth. Most of all, it’s okay to guard who you are and what you’ve got. Not every person should be allowed unlimited access to what you can offer. Allow them to earn it.