Have you ever felt like life had thrown too many things at you and you were crumbling at the weight of it all?
Well, you’re not alone…
It’s Monday morning (okay in reality it’s afternoon but my day has just started) and I decided to finally do something about the mess that’s my room. I was making good progress at tidying things up while listening to music until I heard an audio message that froze everything. The message was about those who were bearing too many burdens and how God desperately wanted to carry it all.
That’s where it all began to unravel. I suddenly remembered the outrageous amount of money that I’d borrowed in order to help a friend pay rent and how it was due in less than 3 days yet I don’t have a cent to repay; knowing that he wasn’t going to pay me back because he’s never even asked when the loan was due… I stared at the mountain of laundry that hasn’t been touched in a long time. The room that desperately needed cleaning up after all the sleepovers I’ve been hosting. The friend who God says needs love from me but I feel as if I don’t even have an iota of love to give her and realising how badly I’ve been treating her. The ladies God’s brought my way who need help, love, healing and advice but realising I don’t have the house to keep hosting them in and how I need a lot more money for the coffees and lunches I’ll be taking them for, simply to get an opportunity to talk with them. Then it hits me hard how I’m still in my parents’ house with no idea if I’ll be back to studying next year or working and how I don’t know how to survive till then.
A string of several other things which aren’t currently going right followed. I couldn’t help but think that I was a wreck and waist deep in issues I didn’t know how to get out of. The two words that kept torturing me for years tried sneaking back in: failure and disappointment. Those words were used frequently to taunt me, making me feel as though they’d be my description for the rest of my life. Recently, God erased them and taught me who I truly was, so I wasn’t going to give them a chance to come back.
In the midst of all that, God reminded me how He is my burden bearer. As I broke down telling Him everything that was threatening to crush me and how I needed Him to not only bear my burdens but carry me too, His word came alive in me.
Even to your old age, I shall be the same,
And even to your graying years I shall bear you!
I have done it (I made you), and I shall carry you;
And I shall bear you, and I shall deliver you.
Now, I’m no longer overburdened, I’m the girl who’s burdens are borne by the Lord of the entire universe and the one who’s carried by Him.